Snow Joke……..another Miracle at Coolmine.

Last night, our hard-pressed team & Captain faced local rivals Ruy Lopez in a league game. The Dinosaur was mercifully absent, as he went into the Lion’s Den in Ratoath earlier, a nondescript draw was the result of that one. We got off to our usual fast start… 0.5-2.5 in jig time, as Michael and Phyllis were put to the sword……….and then the Miracle began………Last match round, Mark drew a won game……this time…………….he upped the ante.!!

Before the Catholic Church launches an investigation into the Miracle…….let me explain…… Mark played his “highly charged and knock me down to Sleep opening,” before deciding to liven things up by NOT throwing everything forward leaving his king exposed trick. However, he decided this was too boring, and played what was proudly termed ………a waiting move…… Mark sacked a Bishop for 2 pawns, launched Queen and Knight forward threatening mate and his opponent immediately resigned………..not realising that Black’s King had an easy escape square out, and then by moving the Black Queen to the centre could practically fork all of Mark’s pieces….which included the waiting to be taken Rook on h2.! “Oh Missed that” was our Captain’s response……(you weren’t the only one Mark,) as I wonder if both players attended the Arsene Wenger school for not seeing things!!! We actually won a single match game, so we don’t care!!…unlike the Arsenal fans who do…………..even if their players don’t. I can do just as bad a job with half the money Arsenal?? Back to a real game…….

Piotr drew an equally balanced chances game and Randolph air brushed a draw out of an inferior position to give a final score of 2.5-3.5 in favour of our visitors. Are we trying to avoid relegation by not winning games?…that would be another first….and the season has threatened to get evenworse before we start next year…………….One of the Black McLoughlin’s may have offered to play for us next year. At the moment, due to the secrecy laws within the first team, we don’t know if it’s the one who’s eyes are too close together, or the one who’s eyes are too far apart. Whatever & whomsoever,…..we will not abide by the Vow of Silence that has engulfed the First Team.

We now have a few weeks before our Winner takes all Clash with St Benildus………………huh…………that’s us STUFFED then………..  If we do go down, we will go down SCREAMING!!!

Before the usual complaints come in,accusing the writer of slagging the Club or its members, for which I’m Guilty as charged……

…………….let me draw your attention to the sayings of Chess Players like Tigran Petrosian, and Jose Raul Capablanca….both World Chess Champions in their day.  ‘The threat is often greater than the execution” and ‘a good player is always lucky”. Mark gets 10/10 for the first one, and we just need our 6 players to get lucky against Benildus.

Here’s another one………No one ever won a game by resigning……so there!

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